Duck Duck Cougar?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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