Pants 0. Shit 1.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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