All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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