she was so not down for the gang bang
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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