u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
