I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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