you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bring money and cleavage
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
