The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize