Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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