I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage