I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye