just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
