i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize