so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
