I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
