Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize