this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize