whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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