My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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