Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
