And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
