Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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