True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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