I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you win again, gameday.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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