I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
