Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Small penises have feelings too.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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