He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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