did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
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Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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