he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.