Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.