Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

Fav 31 1190 3537
share tweet
(310): View more from California

Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.

Fav 5 1335 1646
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

Fav 8 3509 821
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

Fav 32 4365 875
share tweet
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

Fav 27 1291 4968
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today

Fav 4 2915 984
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

Fav 4 2855 960
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

Fav 1 791 633
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.

Fav 4 688 396
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT