OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that