..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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