His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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