I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
