the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are the jesus of drinking
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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