And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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