is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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