how can u be prego again
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
