wrigley field is MILF paradise
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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