You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
