I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize