I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize