Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck