I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
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i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?