Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.