I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.