we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
