i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
