My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You can't motorboat a personality
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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