so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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