i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have fence marks all over my body
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
