i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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