call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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