there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
