Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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