READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
