I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You are the jesus of drinking
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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