fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
