i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
