I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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